Dear Ex Bestie (or whatever nickname we gave to one another at the time),
It would be rude of me not to ask about your life. Are you happy? Well fed? Is life coming together well for you and yours? How’s work? Is your love life plentiful?
I think it’s only right to break the ice, to say something that I have no shame in doing but sometimes too stubborn to say: I’m sorry. I am sorry for not being the bigger, better person by expressing my frustrations and disgust with your behavior. I’m sorry for not being able to face you and tell you all your wrong doings despite how right you thought you were.
I want to explain why I broke away from “us.” I want you to finally know after almost half a decade as to why I cut all ties. It’s because I had to. You were toxic and painful, manipulative and a bully. You hurt me, you belittled me, you defamed my character all for the sake of you. For you to be the shining star in the sea of “ugly fish.” You wanted to be desired by everyone and keep everyone to yourself for yourself. In return of the countless hours I spent soothing you, consoling you, and ultimately bonding with you, I was treated like shit. I felt like myself with you, I felt like I had found a true love in a best friend to be returned with insults about my shape, my weight, my tits, and even my feelings about your friends who showed interest in me. But how could they when I was no you. How could they care for a chick with ugly tits shaped like a fish in comparison to the almighty YOU.
This isn’t a grudge. This is me finally acknowledging that you never wanted a friend, you just wanted someone to make you look better. You wanted a fan. All you ever wanted was to hear you were amazing and great, beautiful and fantastic, creative and super funny when in actuality you’re miserable. You’re the embodiment of misery and the utter lack of ambitions.
You want to be praised. Constantly, from men, your friends, and even your family. You want to be the superstar of a small shitty town when I have always seen through you. You’re hurt and lonely, you’re desperate for something you’re too afraid to ask for. I wanted you to see that. I wanted you to understand that I knew how that felt and you didn’t have to be that person with me. I know the real you, I saw the true you and in the end I was belittled. Because you’re the Queen Bee making slaves out of friends, you made it known to the hive that I was nothing more than a sad lonely fat hag. And that’s who you truly are. That is who you will forever think you’ll be and I that’s why I cut all ties with you.
I’ve wanted nothing more than the best for you. I loved you truly and unconditionally, and that’s why I couldn’t let you take advantage of me anymore.
I deserved better from a friend, and I have that. I’ve always had that but I would never have that with you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you still haven’t learned your lesson.